Overcoming Rejection: Persevering To Win

I don't care who you are...

I don't care how cool you are...

I don't care how rich you are...

I don't care what kind of stuff you have going for you...

You're going to have to deal with situations and times in your life where you are rejected.

It's the reality we live in ... and we're all going to face rejection over and over and over again throughout the course of life.

You're going to have people break up with you.

You're going to have people fire you.

You're going to have friends that no longer want to be friends with you.

All of these situations create this feeling on the inside as if we're not good enough or that there's something wrong with us.

I've been through a lot of these situations.

I bet you have too ... and may even be going through one of those times right now.

Understand that what matters most is how you choose to handle these situations.

So, how do you?

How To Overcome Rejection & Hardship

All over the internet, you'll see people talk about ways to overcome rejection.

They'll talk about things like "self care".

They'll talk about "taking it easy".

They'll talk about "making it through the stages of rejection".

They'll talk about "giving yourself some grace" and borderline wallowing in the painful emotions that come with this feeling of rejection.

...But do you really think that by putting your life on hold for these situations is actually productive and going to help you feel better about your situation in the long-term?

I don't ... and I know it won't help you.

Deep inside, you probably already know this to be the truth too.

That's why I put these 5 pieces of advice together to help you overcome this feeling of rejection.

But first, you have to make sure to avoid these mistakes at all costs.

Overcoming Rejection: What Not To Do

Most people handle the situations where they feel rejected very poorly.

I used to be one of them ... and the minute these situations would come up, I'd start making bad decisions.

Make sure you don't make these mistakes because they will not serve you.

Don’t Quit

Something I see a lot of people do when they're faced with this feeling of rejection is completely give up.

Don't be one of these people.

No matter what happens to you...

It will never be worth tossing your entire life in the trash by no longer executing on the critical tasks necessary to create a better life for yourself.

Do not make things worse for yourself by quitting.

Once the pain subsides...

Which eventually, it will...

You don't want to be in a worse spot than where you started.

You will regret it.

...and it can potentially create an even more difficult situation for you to overcome in the future.

Don't quit.

Don't Play The Victim

Nobody likes the person who dwells on their sad story and refuses to accept responsibility for themselves and their life.

They may pretend to care and listen when you complain about your situation...

But I promise you ... These people really just want you to shut up.

You must understand the role that YOU play in why your life is the way that it is.

If you're faced with rejection...

To some degree, you played a role in it.

Own it so you have the power to make positive changes moving forward.

Playing the victim may feel right in the moment...

...but will actually end up costing you a lifetime of pain and suffering.

I promise.

Don't play the victim.

Take ownership and use whatever lesson you were able to extract from this rejection moving forward.

Don’t Avoid New Opportunities/Risks

When we're faced with this feeling of rejection...

A lot of people allow these situations to keep them from pursuing opportunities or taking risks that could resurface this feeling of rejection.

Instead of stepping out of their comfort zone...

They shelter themselves and avoid anything that could put them at risk of rejection.

They avoid change.

What these people fail to realize is by doing this...

They also keep themselves from opportunities and risks that could have a profound impact on their life...

...as well as the valuable lessons and experiences they need for their personal growth.

Do not fear change.

No pain is worth sacrificing what your life could be out of fear.

Don’t Turn to Destructive Outlets

If you are going through one of these situations...

Turning to alcohol or drugs will only make those things worse for you.

You have to avoid numbing the pain.

Alcohol is a depressant.

...and while you may feel okay in the moment...

You're going to feel worse later.

Numbing the pain of how you feel will ultimately make things worse and lead you to making stupid decisions.

Don't build upon this feeling of rejection through destructive behaviors.

You'll make your situation worse.

Overcoming Rejection: My Advice

The feeling of rejection, loneliness, and unworthiness can be extremely difficult to deal with.

So here's my advice to help you overcome these feelings as quickly as possible…

1. Tell Yourself The Truth

When we go through a time of chaos...

A time of rejection...

A time of loneliness...

...or when we feel like nobody cares about you and the world is against you...

You have to remind yourself of the truth.

...and the truth is...

You are telling yourself things that are absolutely not true.

The world doesn't hate you.

People don't hate you.

You are just taking one situation and turning it into a much bigger issue than it actually is.

I get it ... it can be very hard to convince yourself of the truth when pain is present.

But you have to work on the internal dialogue of telling yourself the truth about the situation.

Oftentimes, the reality of the situation is not nearly as bad as you're making it out to be in your mind.

Tell yourself the truth.

When you're honest ... You'll come to realize the situation isn't as big of a deal as you think it is.

You may even see the upside to the situation, even if it's extremely painful.

2. Control What You Can Control

When we go through these times of rejection...

We allow this negative mindset to infect other areas of our life by giving up control over variables that are in our direct control.

But what you must understand is that by refusing to control these things...

You make your current situation worse.

When you are forced to overcome rejection...

You have to pour your focus and energy into making the best decisions with everything that is in your control.

You control what you eat.

You control what you drink.

You control your daily movement.

You control your workouts.

You control the information you put in your brain.

You control the people you surround yourself with.

When you shift your focus away from the feeling of rejection...

...and start to focus on making good decisions on the things you can control...

It can start to give you some relief because you can wake up and confidently say "I'm in control".

...and you'll know that if you did what you needed to do yesterday...

You're waking up better than you were the day before.

There can be a lot of relief in that.

3. Take The Negativity & Turn It Into Productivity

Take the negative energy from this feeling of rejection and turn it into productive action.

We all know what rejection feels like...

But if we utilize these strong emotions productively...

We can actually accomplish a lot ... including executing on the variables that are in our control.

The unplanned chaos never stops.

...and we do ourselves no favors by expecting it to.

Don't.

Take these negative feelings and use the energy to pour into yourself.

When you can make progress in your life by using this energy wisely...

...and you maintain control of all the things in your control...

You are sure to get over the rejection a lot faster than you would had you allowed yourself to dwell and not control what you could.

4. Help Others

The quickest way to make yourself feel better and overcome rejection is by helping other people feel better.

If you can put your feelings aside and find a way to pour into someone else...

...and help them with whatever it is they're going through or struggling with...

It will help you move past the rejection you're dealing with.

Contributing to someone else's success is one of the single best things you can do to feel better immediately.

When you show up for others in their time of need...

They'll show up for you in yours as well.

Remember that too.

5. Understand the Significance of Time

Think back to other times in your life when you've felt this rejection.

You probably remember that at first, it can feel devastating.

...and for a good amount of time, it probably felt like you'd never get passed those emotions.

But what happened as time passed?

After a week...

The pain was probably a little less.

After a month...

The pain was probably quite a bit less.

After a few months...

The pain was probably a lot less.

After a year...

The pain was probably non-existent.

Time heals all wounds.

If you’re in a situation where you’ve recently faced rejection ... Keep this in mind.

It will take time.

Overcoming Rejection: Persevering To Win

Every single one of us has to overcome rejection multiple times throughout life.

Trust me ... This won't be the last time for you.

Expect it to happen and be prepared.

Your goal during these times should be to do everything in your power to keep making progress and controlling the variables in your control.

Doing that, and adhering to these other strategies will help you overcome this painful feeling of rejection faster.

...and when you finally do start feeling better...

You'll be in a far better place than you were even before you were faced with this rejection.

Avoid putting yourself in a worse place by making bad choices or giving up control of the things that will help you move forward.

The only real way you can be prepared for when these situations come around is by forging yourself into the most mentally tough version of yourself possible...

Which is why I recommend you get intentional about building your mental toughness now.

Not just to help you overcome rejection either...

But to help you develop what I consider to be the most important skill you can build to create win in every area of your life.

Mental toughness is the literal foundation upon which every other skill is built.

Confidence.

Self-Belief.

Self-Worth.

Fortitude.

Grit.

All of these skills and more you can develop when you start with mental toughness.

If you're looking for the best way to build this skill in an effective and systematic way, I recommend you get started with 75 HARD.

75 HARD is a free, transformative mental toughness program that will help you develop this skill and take complete control of your life.

You can also learn more about 75 HARD and how to build mental toughness in my book, The Book on Mental Toughness.

Doing so will be the greatest investment you make in yourself and your life.

That's the truth.