December 14, 2020 4 min read

Self-respect is important.

It makes you see who you actually are, and gives you the courage to do the things you want to do.

But how do you build self-respect if you don’t have it?

Here are some suggestions...

How To Build & Gain Self-Respect

We all want to be respected. A lot of us wish we respected ourselves more. Here are some tips for how to gain self-respect, that can even lead to others respecting you.

Stick to your beliefs and values

You won’t agree with everyone all the time. There’s nothing wrong with coming to a compromise when both people get some of what they want. But there’s a BIG difference between mutual compromise and abandoning your beliefs and values.

You believe whatever you believe. While you should be open-minded enough to recognize when you’re wrong, you should still stick to your beliefs when someone is trying to get you to abandon them.

You must take a stand for what you believe in.

Take care of yourself

Families require some degree of self-sacrifice. So do friendships, businesses, and other social groups. But it's very important that you take care of yourself. If you give all of your energy to others, you won't have enough left in the tank for yourself ... and that's a bad position to put yourself in.

Make sure you draw a line in the sand when you can’t give any more of yourself and stick to it. Don’t be rude about it and put yourself above people all the time, but recognize that you have to take care of yourself, and that there's times when other people need to figure out how to handle their own problems.

Self-respecting people know when to draw the line and take care of themselves.

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Do what you set out to do

You have a goal. You need to do the work to accomplish it. If you say you are going to do something, do it. The world is filled with people willing to talk the talk … but we need more people willing to walk the walk and get things done.

Nobody wants to get up 30 minutes earlier every day to go on a run...

Nobody wants to say no to cake...

Nobody wants to work 12 hours every day to get their new business off the ground, but if you really want the life you say you want ... that's what you have to do.

Once you’ve made a decision to do something, the time for talking stops, and the time for doing starts.

People respect those who do the work.

Work on your weaknesses

Nobody is perfect. Not you, not me, not your neighbor,  not your least successful friends ... or even your most successful friends. Everyone has flaws that they can work on. The difference between doers and wishers is that doers work on self-improvement, while wishers use their flaws as an excuse to be average.

It’s so much easier to say “I can't do it, because I have [insert problem].” rather than “I haven’t achieved [insert goal] because I’m not good enough yet, but I’m working on it.”

Imagine how much respect you’d gain for yourself if you improved yourself even just a little bit? Progress breeds self-respect, and self-respect breeds more progress. But you have to start by putting the work in.

Take opportunities when you find them

You know what’s scary? Taking an opportunity when there’s a chance that you might fail. You know what’s even scarier?  The feeling of regret when you look back on opportunities that you passed up.

People who command respect, command it because they take chances. Sometimes they succeed, and many times they fail, but they never back down from an opportunity.

There will always be people who criticize what you do.  The reality is, most of them only do it because they’re too scared to try it themselves ... and they're insecure about their lives.

That said, if you continue to take on new opportunities when they're presented to you, you’ll eventually gain the respect of the right people, and respect for yourself.

Accept Yourself As You Are

This isn’t some rainbow & unicorns, feel-good idea. I don’t mean that everyone is a unique snowflake and special in their own right.

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We all have room for improvement.

But we need to accept that we are who we are, and we need to deal with that reality on reality’s terms.

Be honest about who you are, what your problems are, and where you want to be one day. Work toward that goal while being honest about the progress you’re making (or not making.)

When you accept who you are, you can objectively measure the positive change you’re making in your life. And when you can measure that change, your self-respect will start to improve.

Balance who you are with what you do

You are not a failure ... and you are not perfect.  You’re a mix of the two. You’re a combination of things you want to do, the things you do right, and the things you do wrong.

You need to recognize all of those different parts of you, find ways to constantly improve, but also don’t beat yourself up too badly when you fall short. It’s always better to learn from your mistakes and move forward than it is to focus on the worst parts of your failure(s) all the time.

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Don’t take shit from anyone, including yourself

People who have a healthy sense of self-respect know what they want, they know what they’re worth, and they know a bad deal when they see one.

Don’t have an ego and never listen to other people’s feedback, but learn the difference between legit feedback, and someone just trying to bring you down.

Have the self-respect to cut out any negativity.

People Who Respect Themselves Are Respected By Others

If you want to earn the respect of others, start by developing self-respect. Your opinion of you matters more, and will have a greater impact on your success in general than the opinions of any other person on earth.

If you want to become the best version of yourself, and gain complete control of your life, take on the 75 Hard program today! Start developing the skillset needed to become the consistent, tough, self-improving performer that you want to be, and see how much self-respect you gain along the way.

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