"What are you trying to prove?"

I often have people try and take shots at me regarding “having something to prove”.

They say things like:

“It's interesting that someone in your position feels they have something to prove”

Or

“Who are you trying to prove something to”

Or

“Dude, you seem insecure because you're always trying to prove something”

First off, if you don't have the feeling that you have something to prove I can 100% guarantee you that your life is going to be very mediocre at best.

If that's what you want: Cool.

...but we ain't the same.

Did it ever occur to you that having something to prove is EXACTLY why I'm “in this position” and you’re not?

You see it as insecurity...maybe some of it is.

I never had a single motherfucker ever believe in me.

And yeah...it's fun to remind them they were fucking wrong.

So what?

Or maybe it's just that I understand what my goals in this life really are and what they are going to take.

Do you know my inner goals?

No, you have no clue.

You know how I know you have no clue...

...because I have yet to share them

...with anyone.

I am way behind.

I have 500 year goals I'm trying to pack into a single lifetime.

My life may look like the finish line for some people...to me it's the starting line.

So yeah, I have a lot to fucking prove.

A lot.

The day I don’t...is the day I die.

This is most people's fucking problem.

They walk around trying to act all noble and confident and say shit like: “I've got nothing to prove to anyone”

Yeah bro...that's pretty obvious by your life.

You don’t have to announce it.

We know.

This is why you lack urgency in all areas of your life.

It's why you're fat.

It's why you don't make the money you’d like.

It's why you tolerate a barely functional relationship.

It's why secretly you’re miserable.

All because you buy into the: “I have nothing to prove” bullshit.

I'm not on this planet to be normal.

I'm not here to be like everyone else.

I'm fully aware that regardless of what I do with my time on this earth people are likely to not remember me....and I don’t lose sleep over that.

This isn’t about legacy or money or anything other than this:

When my time comes I want to know I fucking did it.

I didn’t cower.

I didn’t hide.

I didn’t crumble.

I didn’t make excuses.

I didn’t settle.

This is about how I'm gonna feel about MY LIFE.

You see, I've had a few REAL close calls.

Not the bullshit stories people try to top each other with around the water cooler.

You know exactly what I mean...

Like how when I tell people I was stabbed and nearly died...and they come back with how they were stabbed too...and shot...only they did actually die and came back to life.

Side note: Let's Stop the “Tommy Topper” shit. It’s annoying and I know you’re full of shit.

Everyone knows.

Anyway...

I'm talking about having real times in my life where I had to actually evaluate & examine what it would be like if I diedtoday.

Because it was reality in those moments.

These couple times in my life...I was so regretful about how I lived it made me sick.

It was the emptiest feeling I could ever describe.

Like it was pointless.

I don't want to feel that ever again.

So yeah, I have a fuck ton to prove.

Not to you.

Not to anyone.

To me.

...and if you are walking around buying into the “too cool for school” mentality that you “have nothing to prove” understand this is why your life sucks.

“I have nothing to prove” isn't some sort of noble philosophy of inner peace.

It's the battle cry of the scared, weak and mediocre.

I have a fuck ton to prove.

I hope you feel the same.

—Andy