Keep Coming Back

On New Years Eve 2019 I attended a funeral. 

The funeral was for two young boys who fell through the ice on a pond located in their front yard on December 22nd. 

CJ & Tey, 7 & 8, are the sons of a friend and employee of mine at 1st Phorm, Terry. 

When I first found out about this ... I nearly threw up on the spot.

I couldn’t fathom it.

I have been thru some serious shit in my life ... but I could not compare it to anything.

I could not fix it.

I could not even make it a tiny bit better.

I could do nothing.

We all just had to swallow it.

Understandably this event hit all of us here at 1st Phorm very hard.

I agonized over what I would say to Terry when I got the chance to see him face to face.

What do you say to a man and his wife who just suffered a loss like this?!

There is literally nothing I can say.

Nothing.

When I saw Terry yesterday I felt the same feeling I felt when I first heard the news.

After everyone had gone through the line at the funeral home and expressed their sadness and condolences to the family.

I had a few minutes to speak to him.

He was much calmer, more composed and centered than I could have been.

Terry is a former Marine and a very smart & good man.

A great man.

We started talking and the subject of his older children (15 & 9) came up and how they were taking the loss.

He said they were extremely upset, understandably ... especially about coming to the funeral.

Then Terry said something to me that I'll never forget.

He looked me in the eye and calmly said:

“I told them both that when it gets too overwhelming for them to go outside, take a breather, take a walk ... then come back. If you get overwhelmed again ... go outside, take a breather, take a walk ... then come back. Just come back. Keep coming back.”

I'll never forget that.

I hope you won't either.

—Andy