Growing up I was always interested in how things worked.
I was the kid taking apart my Dad’s tools to see how they functioned.
Ive always been extremely curious about the “how & why” of things.
I’m sure I annoyed the shit out of everyone, including my parents, asking so many questions about so many random things.
Not to mention pissed my Dad off bad because I took all his tools apart.
I remember one time I took apart a power drill to see how it worked.
When I got it into what seemed like 100 pieces...I realized there was zero chance I was gonna understand how this worked.
In fact, I actually understood more of how it worked when it was together.
You pulled the trigger.
The tool worked.
I didn’t have to understand how it worked.
It just did.
Trying to understand it just confused me more.
...and it certainly didn’t make the drill work any better.
In fact...it didn’t work at all after I took it a part.
Somewhere along the line, I figured out sometimes shit just worked.
That is a very important lesson I learned. It’s served me in all areas of life. I don’t need to understand everything. Sometimes things just are.
Regardless, I’ve got a very hard head so I continued to take shit apart as a kid.
Anything & everything.
The result was almost always the same.
Nearly every single time I did this I ended up in a worse spot than when I started.
But not every time...
SOMETIMES....it did help.
One of the situations where it did help was when I started trying to figure myself out.
I was about 34-35 years old when I really committed to figuring out the mystery of myself.
I never felt like things were “right”.
I always felt I was “off” or “doing something wrong” or “something was missing”
Turns out a lot was missing.
I tried for years to just “accept & love myself” like I was told I should.
It never made sense to me.
Because I just didn’t.
I looked around at everyone else who seemed to be so happy and it made me mad because I couldn’t seem to figure it out.
It made me feel dumb.
It made me feel crazy.
It also destroyed my confidence, self esteem, self worth, belief in myself...
Ultimately leaving me powerless.
What was I doing wrong?
Why couldn’t I “just be happy”?
Was this just the way it was supposed to be?
These things destroyed me so much I often found myself literally suicidal.
I knew for sure that wasn’t right.
People aren’t supposed to kill themselves.
So why was I always finding myself in such a dark place of unhappiness, hopelessness, pointlessness and frustration?
I started to really look at myself.
I went deep with myself. I didn’t need to meditate or go into the woods with a bunch of other dudes in my underwear for a weekend.
I was just honest. Brutally honest.
I stripped away everything that I thought would make me happy and detached from it.
I threw out my ego entirely and assessed what I truly was.
I was looking for the real solution...because I knew if I didn’t find it I wouldn’t make it much further.
You know what I found out when I took away all the bullshit and got real with myself?
I wasn’t living to my own standards of what I truly KNEW I was capable of.
I wasn’t even trying.
I had been fortunate in business and achieved a lot of financial success...but that is just one area of life.
I had been in great shape on & off all my life...but I could never maintain it.
I got hot.
I got cold.
I got hot.
I got cold again.
I figured this was just how life went for the longest time...and since overall I was winning by the world’s standard...
I didn’t question it.
...which was ultimately the problem.
I never questioned it.
When I questioned myself about why I was in such a dark place I found the answer to be extremely simple:
I wasn’t living by MY STANDARD
...in any area.
This is why I felt like a loser.
This is why I felt powerless.
This is why I lacked confidence.
This is why I had zero respect for myself.
This is why I always felt like I was out of control.
This is why I always looked for the approval of others.
This is why I couldn’t see anything through to the end.
This, ultimately, was the reason I was unfulfilled, unhappy, depressed, fat, filled with anxiety and never felt good about myself in anyway and literally COULDN’T look at myself in the mirror for literally YEARS.
I was disgusted.
And this all came from one place.
Specifically these three things:
1. Me telling myself I was things I wasn’t. Good & Bad.
2. Me telling myself I would do things I knew I wouldn’t.
3. Me not doing the things I told myself I was going to do, even when I had full intentions of following through.
Why didn’t I just change these things when I realized them?
I didn’t have the power to do so.
See point 3.
When I looked in the mirror at night I hated what I saw...
...not because of the way I looked (yes, I hated that too) but because I knew I was a liar.
Everything I said I was & everything I claimed to be was bullshit and even worse...I had zero power to change it.
That’s true hopelessness.
I’ve been there.
I’ve spent more time there than not.
It wasn’t until I figured out a simple concept that things changed forever.
ALL GREAT THINGS IN LIFE ARE EARNED.
Yes, even happiness.
Yes, even Self Esteem.
Yes, Belief in yourself.
Yes, your body.
Yes, your positive relationships.
Yes EVERY FUCKING THING.
Everywhere we look we are inundated with solutions for feeling bad about ourselves.
They sound like:
“You are worthy”
“You are powerful”
“Just go be happy”
“You deserve to be happy”
“You deserve to feel good about yourself”
While it could be that easy for some people (I dont know any)....
...It just isn’t that simple for people that are aware enough to understand they can actually be better.
Because when you understand you can improve...and since you know in your heart that you can...it’s literally impossible to feel good when you are not at least truly in the process of becoming that version of yourself.
You don’t have to be the best version of yourself to be confident & happy....
....but you DO have to be truly committed to the process of becoming that and be working that plan.
This process, pursuit if you will, is where all your power comes from.
This is where you will earn confidence.
This is where you will earn self esteem.
This is where you earn self respect.
This is where you earn self belief.
There is where you develop grit.
This is where you develop fortitude.
This is where you learn everything about yourself and every skill needed to win by the world’s standards AND your standards.
Its how you become unfuckingstopable...
...and it all starts with a simple concept:
Doing what you said you are going to do NO MATTER WHAT. Without compromise.
This year if you do anything...at least entertain the possibility that EVERY SINGLE THING you have ever heard or learned about success, happiness and fulfillment is completely wrong.
I promise, what you’ll find will change not only your life for the better...
...it will make it blatantly obvious how misguided, confused and full of shit MOST of the world is.
It’ll unlock a power & belief inside you that you cannot comprehend at this point in your life.
Yes, taking myself apart and putting me back together the way I wanted to be was absolutely the best thing I ever did for myself.
I hope you find the courage to do the same.
If you read this and you have completed my 75 Hard program the way it was intended you understand this completely & throughly and possess the skills mentioned above in spades.
If you haven’t done the program, go to 75HARD.com...read about it...AND DO IT.
This is the program I developed to literally take the guess work out of taking yourself apart and building yourself into the person you want to be.
Like the drill...just pull the trigger.
Take it apart it won’t work at all.
You’ll understand it later.