A Follow-Up On Yesterday's Post

So, funny story ... I saw the same two guys I wrote about in yesterday’s post again today in the gym.

I decided to talk to them.

Especially after sharing it with you all yesterday...I had to.

So I started chit-chatting with them and turns out they were pretty cool.

Their names were Chad & TJ.

The reason I wanted to talk to them is because I was curious about why they felt going to the expensive places was so important to them, that they would pass up doing the actual work over the weekends to build their ideas.

Basically...

I wanted to know why they would rather live a pretend life now even when it means not having the real version of that life later.

That’s never made sense to me and I honestly wanted to know.

I am genuinely curious...

So after looking for a good opportunity to bring it up and not finding one after a few minutes...I decided to to just go in:

“Can I ask you guys something...?”

I went on and explained to them the story from the other day and that they were actually talking about me.

I explained to them I wrote about it.

I explained to them that while I was writing about the interaction, I was wishing I could’ve had a conversation with the guys, and if I had the opportunity I would explain to them which path they were on.

Which I did at this time...

So we had a conversation.

We talked about why they were on the wrong path if they really wanted what they said they wanted.

To my surprise...they seemed to already understand that by not doing what they were actually doing their chances of success would increase drastically.

So now I was really curious.

I’m thinking:

WHAT THE FUCK IS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU WOULD KNOWINGLY DECREASE YOUR CHANCES OF SUCCESS IN LIFE AND STILL DO?!

So I asked them exactly that:

“Guys if you understand that by going out every weekend fake ballin, you are actually never gonna become a real baller...what the fuck are you doing it for?”

They both looked at me in silence.

Blank.

Neither of them said anything back.

But I wasn’t budging until I got an answer.

I made it so awkwardly uncomfortable.

I just sat there and looked at them.

It was funny to me and very awkward to them.

Inside I was laughing...

But outside I was solid as fuck.

Finally, after probably 30 full seconds that felt like 30 minutes, TJ says:

“I want to get laid”

Fuck. Thank you. Right to the point.

I can respect that.

I said:

“So you think the way to get laid is to present yourself as something you’re not...as a successful person?”

He responded:

“No, but I don’t want to look like a loser. Girls don’t fuck losers”

I laughed and said:

“You’d be surprised...”

Me & Chris, my business partner, in 1997

Then I said:

“So you think people who work hard at night and on weekends to build their dreams are losers?”

He said:

“Yeah man, I get it. I get what you are saying... but it’s embarrassing man. I feel like a loser. I hate being like everyone else”

I said:

“That’s your problem”

“You are like everyone else”

I looked at them again for about 8 seconds this time and it clicked.

That’s right motherfuckers!

Let that sink in.

Pretending to be more successful than you are is exactly what makes you a loser...the thing you are most afraid of being.

Because everyone does that, and very few stay in their lane, put their head down and do the fucking work.

This is what makes “success” more and more rare as the years go by with people your age (whatever your age).

As the years go by it becomes more and more clear who is putting up a fake life, and who is the real deal because people literally go broke trying to look successful.

As the years go by people can’t keep up the front.

And they end up being embarrassed in front of their world because fake life implodes and they are exposed as fakers.

I’ve seen it happen literally a million times...

At all levels.

So not only do you not become “ACTUALLY SUCCESSFUL” because you traded the time you should have been working on something real to pretend you were successful...

...you also end up having to eat a bunch of shit when your charade falls apart in front of your friends and everyone you care about, which I imagine is highly embarrassing.

Which is truly ironic because fear of embarrassment is exactly what makes you pretend you are way more successful than you are.

Listen...way too many of you are out there trying to "look the part" instead of focusing on "being the part" 10 years from now.

Be embarrassed.

Admit you're just starting.

Show your struggles.

Quit hiding your reality.

2006- Chris in the back of our first retail store, on the couch we used to sleep on at 1709 S. Campbell Ave in Springfield, MO

As for Chad & TJ:

TJ, in addition to the advice above, if you really want to be cool and have the opportunity to meet a lot of women, stop doing what all your friends do now, and focus on building a REAL life that the kind of girls you would REALLY want to be with would be interested in being a part of...not the ones you think you could get now...you’ll be a lot happier.

Welcome to AndyGram.

I told you you would find the answer to your problem here.

Hope you stick around.

—Andy